That's what most days feel like. I'm just still here. The last few months have been very very trying. Last month I tried motivating my self to at least post a picture and thought's just to clear my head, but I guess I was just too overwhelmed with emotion. Since the first of the year my life has gone through some very rough changes that I figured would be behind me, but everyday is learning experience, and the new year definitly brought lessons to be learned. The new year also bought me new life. But I'll get into that shortly.
Over the last few months I have lost some persons in my life, that I really whole heartedly belived loved me the way that I loved them. But I don't know what makes people do the things they do. I don't know what make me naive when it comes to kindness. I don't know why at 26 I really belive that the people I treat good, are treating me just the same.....
As a dear friend told me the other week, I'm going to have to forgive, and bring closure to this or it's going to eat away at me. I have to leave this and know that it just won't be the same. My struggle is not in vain. And everything that I feel like I'm loosing, even the people...God is going to replace.
Well I know that people are being replaced, and family is definitly takinkg more importance inmy life. Since the first of the year, our family has grown! I'm an Auntie!! Kiaya Janelle came to us on April 3. And Blessing #2 will arrive in October!! AJ going to be a big sister!! AK and I are expecting his first, my second child! I couldn't enjoy it at first due to the stressfulll turn my life had taken, and all the glorious things the first trimester brings!!
We are now in our own home and making preparations. I am really begining to feel more at peace. And pray that I am around more before maternity leave comes and goes. I have been creating, just not posting to here or flickr. I have taken a book making class, the glass class, and the painting class which made me a lot more comfortable with what I was doing. I don't have a digital camera right now, but my crackberry camera seems to be okay, so I may give in and use it to provided some more stimulating updates.
Thanks to those of you who have stopped by, left comments and mailed me things during this time. I really appreciated it. It made those days so much warmer. Well I'm off to babysit and maybe create.... I'll have to see how KJ feels about that. Lord! Does all of my family have the same initials.