Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Gremlins????? or Stress????
Is it possible to be so stressed that you can't create. I know that I could just be too overwhelmed with life right now to create. But why is it nagging me so. On Saturday AK gave me the lovely opportunity of being at home alone to paint and that I did. But I didn't feel like I had done enough. As if 3 pieces were not enogh. It was like I wanted more. I know that the pieces are pieces are not complete until I say so. And as of right now I'm looking at one going, this is not what I was going for. And yes I would love to "fix it", but I feel like I don't know what to do. I know if I took it over to the Cultural Arts Center (where I would normal take classes and paint)the instructor would tell me to just keep painting until it looks like what I want. But for some reason knowing that just doesn't feel convincing enough. It's like I want more. Does any one understand me? What do you do when you feel like this? Since Saturday I've put the painting away, so that it does not stare at me all week. Darn gremlins, I'm trying to just think positive thought here...... HELLO!!!! So I normally don't give too many baby updates. But this last visit has become a gremlin. While I have steadily packed on the pounds in lovong care of my incubating child. She is not. Now while I delivered Aneysa at 4 lbs. 10oz. full term I was ok. But the Dr. measured her at 6 lbs 2 weeks before she was born. Now I know the Dr. isn't always right. But I'm really starting to feel as though I should have stuck with the more holistic turn my life had taken since my first pregnancy and went to a midwife, no ultra sounds, don't tell me what it is, and just smiled all along. Also since becoming pregnant I have looked for other creative outlets. I used to write on the regular bases. And just kind of pen things as they come to mnid. I took a shot at NANWRIMO last year. However since the first of the year I have really been yearning to write and still penned what came to heart. But I'm looking for more. I have decided to start another blog, just for my writing. HOwever I want a tie in into the Life Coaching I am looking to begin. I've been reading and studying a lot in this area,and have decided that since I was going to have to sit out of school a few more quarters I would have the money to earn a certification in coaching and wet my feet in my new major, Social Work. So this has left me with .......Forgot where I was going withthis. it's taken 3 days to complete this post. See what I mean Jelly Bean?!!!!