Tuesday, May 5, 2009

If you could trade lives with someone else, who would it be and why?

I chose to use a prompt today for so many reasons today, I can't pick one. Hopefully in the words to follow you see and understand the path that I'm on right now. If I could trade lives with someone it would have to be someone that met the following criteria: Exhibits a bias for action Content- these people do exist Spiritually balanced Go getter Focused Free/Transparent

I'm sure there's more, but for the sake of not looking like I'm beating myself up. I'm not by any means. I need to move on. You know how sometimes you just have to stand back and take a self inventory? I'm just in that place. I'm happy with so few things in life right now and I've had to stand back and be critical of myself, and these are the things that I see I'm not so strong at. I find myself often saying I want to be like her, or I wish I could do that. And so often I say, so go ahead, and not much materializes. So then I asked self why? For the longest I could find every reason as to why it was not me. And for the longest instead of doing what I wanted to do for me I'd find a way to make it for someone else, and do it for them. If I oozed more of these qualities selfishly, I feel like wow, that would be the life. I'd give myself so much more permission to be. It's funny how you won't allow self to be self for fear of messing up but we put trust in people allow them into our lives and them wonder how in the hell did I get here? I said I was in a particular place today, blue music and all, just bear with me. So for now instead of being particularly gloomy or remaining in a state of dismay. I choose to not examine the long list of realistic people I admire and figure out how to emanate their external in my life. Or even figure out how to get close enough to ask, how. Because truth has it, they could be just as __(you know)_ as I feel. And nobody knows it!!!! Did you suspect me?

I'm going to keep working at being me!! In considering this I've had to examine everything from my surrounding, persons, and even family. Because we all know that family just doesn't get it, sometimes. I've created a to –do list for this year. My hopes are to complete as much as possible, and walk more closely to the person I seek to be. Me!! Grace and Peace ya'll


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