Tuesday, August 3, 2010

What are you doing for you? (What makes YOU happy?)

So, beaux was in town last weekend. And we had the most enjoyable conversations, I've had with he opposite sex in a very long time. Our conversations always are a bit different. But, this one in particular will be one that I remember and cherish. First it spanned a few days. Second it was all about me and what makes me happy. If I'm really happy with where I am in life or am I really just keeping my self so busy that I'm missing something. This is one of the reasons that I'm extremely attracted to him....He "seems" to really have a genuine concern for my happiness and my goals present and future. Any who, when he asked me what really made me happy, I didn't know how to answer that question. I froze for a minute. He followed up with telling me what made him happy. But I still had no answer. I told him that so long as my girlies were happy, and he enjoyed himself when he comes to town....I'm good. He reminded me that good isn't happy, so once again what makes me happy? I turned away, in my head I'm thinking wow, I've spent some time thinking about this in moths past but not recently. Do I really have no answer.... Wednesday morning....I'm at the courthouse...Reading....All The Joy You Can Stand. The author starts out in the same place...My mind goes WOW. Apparently I need to re-evaluate this part of my life. Not only did my reason for being at the courthouse remind me of what 2 years in an unhealthy relationship can do to a girls world, but it grieved me to realize how much of myself I had really lost. And since the conversation mentioned above I had been asked again by my Best Friend. For years I was told that I was looking for happiness in the wrong places, and I just never understood what exactly it was people were saying to me. Over the last year I began to understand...But recently I've gathered a whole different idea of my happiness. It's really ok that its the simplest things. Its great to make time for these things, but if I have to steal time for them it's just fine. It will pay off at the end of the day. So, yesterday I left work (during lunch) and went and got a massage. It's some thing that I LOVE to do, but have made every excuse not to for years. It was wonderful, the lady was a bit heavy handed, but I needed it. Last night I layed in the floor and let Kamara climb all over me and laughed until she just got slap happy with it. That made the both of us happy. I've gotten back to some of my hobbies, but balancing them in between homework and girlies is not easy. I'm still planing a vacation... Until then, I'm going to enjoy my daily walks downtown, cooking, the privilege of education, all the kisses I can get, quiet time with the girlies and him. So what makes you happy?

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