Saturday, October 30, 2010


I was able to get up this morning and make a few batches of body butter this morning. Hopefully I can get them posted to etsy today.
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Monday, October 25, 2010

Love is like sunshine. It brings a golden glow to its beholder's face and a warm feeling all over the body. It awakens souls and opens eyes. And when it's over, it leaves billions of small memories called stars. To remind the world, that it still exists.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Foundations For A Healthy Marriage Relationship, Part 3-Intimacy ad Final Thoughts

Intimacy is key in a marriage relationship. Intimacy is not just about having a satisfying sexual experience with your spouse. Intimacy in a marriage is also about a deeper friendship, companionship, spiritual meaning, fun, passion, parenting, and connection with mutual core values (Markman, Stanley, & Blumberg, 2001). Intimacy really capitalizes on the good stuff about being in a relationship. This source also goes on to illustrate how men and women convey intimacy differently. The key here is to communicate what one is expecting from their spouse.

Women seek intimacy in the form of verbal communication. They want to talk about their day, their plans, their dreams, and their wants. After expressing all of the above, they in turn expect for the husband to feel a need to reciprocate, and be just as enthusiastic about it. Men on the other hand define having intimate moments when they are sharing activities that they enjoy with their spouse. As part of their commitment to one another, couples should invest the time and conversations necessary to facilitate these needs. Assuming what your partner likes and perceives as intimacy based on their gender and past is not wise and can be detrimental.

It is hard to deny that commitment, communication, and intimacy are foundational basics to a healthy marriage relationship. These three functions overlap, resurface, and play their own individual roles in a marriage. Couples committed to being together “for better or for worse”, through thick and thin, with the necessary legwork are buying into a happier and healthier future. With their attention to commitment, couples will thrive on their communication skills, where they will not only bond with each other, but, be able to learn their partners as they further mature, and be able to work through rough situations, while bringing them to a higher level of intimacy.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Foundations For A Healthy Marriage Relationship, Part 2-Communication

This is my final for my most recent class. I will be posting it in 3 sections, this is part 2 of 3. I'm posting this here on my blog as this is the type of work and counseling I would really like to move into. I really enjoyed the class, the material, and putting this paper together. I hope that you enjoy it a much as I and Beaux did. Let me know your thoughts.
Foundations For A Healthy Marriage Relationship, Part 2-Communication

Lack of communication is one of the primary reasons marriages fail. It is necessary that couples learn to communicate and listen to one another effectively. Communication of all the foundational skills is of most importance. There will be times in a marriage when spouses cannot help one another. There will always be times when all you can do for someone you love is listen. There will be times when all someone can give to you is a hug. It is estimated that when awake, we spend approximately 70% our time communicating, 30% of which is talking (The Reavive, 2009). This means that over half of our communication is non-verbal. It’s not what we say to our partners; it’s how we say it that can be the cause of communication problems. When communication between partners becomes strained or nonexistent, the entire foundation of the relationship is affected. Learning to communicate so that everyone involved feels heard is hard work and as a result so not being committed for the long haul, many couples are do not reach this level of understanding and issues become unresolved. Tension deepens leading to a lack of understanding and respect. In the end, this may lead to couples dissolving the relationship for lack of know how. While this temporarily resolves their problems, the same problem is bound to resurface in the next relationship. If one does not have a healthy way of expressing their thoughts and emotions to another, then everything else will ultimately crumble. Communicating effectively is a skill that can be learned.

There are 3 goals, in my opinion, partners should start out with and keep in mind when communicating. First, as part of their commitment to one another, partners should be honest with one another. If we want something, we need to say it. It sounds obvious, but how many hurt and angry couples end the relationship over, "he should have known..." or "she should have realized..."? How would he have known? How would she have realized? Did you tell him/her? Being able to express oneself in the small areas will lead the way to open and comfortable discussion in the bigger areas as well. Second, do not rely on intuition. It is a common assumption that prophetic power is proof of your spouse's undying love and devotion (Braverman, 2000). Let's destroy this myth right now. Tell your partner what it is that you want. His or her thoughtful response to your plainly expressed needs is a sign of their commitment. Third, and most importantly, listen to your partner. Sometimes, we are so caught up in hearing our has consumed us that we don’t realize that we haven't really been listening. If we would stop to listen, we would discover that our positions are not that far apart, and at times are not apart at all. By just listening, partners will be surprised by how much they learn and realize the pleasure of being able to express themselves freely.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

You Again - Trailer

Went to see this with my co-workers last week. Good, girls night flick, full of laughs. Great stress relief.

Foundations For A Healthy Marriage Relationship, Part 1-Commitment

This is my final for my most recent class. I will be posting it in 3 sections. I'm posting this here on my blog as this is the type of work and counseling I would really like to move into. I really enjoyed the class, the material, and putting this paper together. I hope that you enjoy it a much as I and Beaux did. Let me know your thoughts.
Foundations of a Healthy Marriage Relationship-Commitment
by Candace C

The most important part of any marriage is a good foundation. A relationship like many other things is on shaky ground, without a foundation. A marriage relationship is not any different, in the sense that, in order to have a healthy marriage a foundation has to be laid. A foundation of constant nurturing in commitment to one another and the bigger picture. Nurturing of communication between partners. And nurturing of the intimacy in the relationship.

Commitment to one another is a much more broader function than the world tends to teach us when it comes to marriage. At first thought, commitment is being loyal to one another in a monogamous relationship. At a second glance we are taught that being committed is being supportive, understanding and open to our partners. Dr. Robin Smith points out in her book, Lies at The Altar that commitment goes so far beyond these two points. Commitment begins with the realization of self and being committed enough in your marriage to not lose yourself. Realizing that a marriage is a union of love between two unique individuals. Partners need to honestly ask if they are in love with their partner as they are now or do you love them for who you can pray, nag, or manipulate them into being.

Being committed also means understanding that you as a partner are no longer living by yourself; you're now living in a two-fold lifestyle (Lamb, 2009). Patience becomes a necessary emotion for a marriage to survive. There will be hundreds of situations every day that test the marriage. Tempers can soar, things will be said and will be remembered for a lifetime. A little patience goes a long way, and in some cases can save a marriage from collapse. Along with patience come gratitude. Gratitude is another emotion that's also needed for a good marriage. A spouses is not a slaves, they're a partners in life. If your spouse does something for you should take the time to let them know that the effort is appreciated. It's nice to feel appreciated for something that you've done.

In summary, commitment is the legwork of the mairrage. Marriage is not fifty-fifty. A strong marriage foundation is built when both partners put 100% into making their spouses happy, being in it for the long haul. This means that each partner needs to agree to not fight destructively, to commit oneself to keeping the funand friend ship in the relationship, and to make the relationship a safe emotional harbor (Markman, Stanley, & Blumberg, 2001). If "both" partners do this the marriage is sure to last. Treat your spouse better than you expect to be treated, and your marriage will blossom into a beautiful flower.


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